I constantly feel like life is passing by so quickly but at the same time, I feel like so much time passes in such a short amount of time. Like a week in my life will fly by, but it feels like a lifetime passes during that week. Winter break was no exception to this, as it simultaneously felt so short yet so long.
I have felt myself transform in very short periods, and I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that we couldn’t be who we are without our experiences. We are constantly changing from one moment to the next, and if it’s an impactful experience for us, we will feel and see that change.
Not to be melodramatic, but I have this habit of telling my friends and roommates anytime we leave for breaks that “we will return as different people.” But I say it because I truly believe it’s true.
The End of 2023
This break was very chill. I stayed home for a month and spent my entire time with my family, my closest friends, and quite a bit of time by myself. I feel full of gratitude that my hometown home is a place that I feel like I can relax in when I come back. It’s a space where I can let go and nurture the quieter side of myself that gets a bit muffled while living at school.
Speaking of which, I am back in my college home and I couldn’t be happier. It honestly felt like the perfect time to come back and reset my life before the start of winter quarter.
Coming back to school
Upon getting back it was overcast and a little rainy but not too windy which is my favorite weather ever. The smell of our apartment and my room immediately brought me back to college and in a way, it feels like I never left. But at the same time, everything feels different. The vibes are different this quarter.
Everything feels a little more familiar and homey and I honestly just feel better going into this quarter than I did last quarter. Last year winter and spring quarter were by far my favorite quarters and I honestly think some of it has to do with the familiarity of being at school and establishing certain routines.
What we know is a tool
I think familiarity can be a blessing and a curse, and it has played both roles in my own life. It’s almost common knowledge that “to be happy and successful, you constantly have to be pushing your comfort zone and be seeking new experiences.” but what has failed to be mentioned is why pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zones helps us reach that success. I think it’s because when we push ourselves more outside our comfort zones, more becomes comfortable to us. More becomes familiar. And when the territory we are exploring is familiar, we can go deeper and explore more of it. Allow me to take this out of a metaphorical sense and into the real world for just a moment.
Fall quarter the past two years for me have been me landing somewhere that I’ve never been before. New classes, new routines, new relationships, and a new home. I have felt pretty lost during these times trying to figure out the foundations that make up my life. However, once time passes and I actually kind of figure out what the fuck is going on, I can deepen the quality of my life. I’m able to deepen those relationships, explore the world outside of the home more, and spend more time on projects since my routines are in place.
The quality of our lives is dependent on familiarity, which is why it is important to explore unfamiliar terrain if we want to broaden the quality of our lives. In more simple terms, when the unknown becomes known, we use the familiar as leverage to propel ourselves into even more unfamiliar terrain. I hope that makes sense.
The downsides to familiarity
Ok so we’ve talked about the good that comes with familiarity, but you saw the title of the video so of course I need to bring up the downside. The curse behind familiarity is when we fail to use it as leverage to get deeper within ourselves and our own lives.
Imagine your life like layers of honey. To become happier and more fulfilled, you need to swim your way through each of these layers. If you make it through a layer, you can continue swimming up, maybe even taking a few breaks. However, if you stop for too long, you will sink back to the bottom.
In this analogy, the honey is the unknown terrain. It’s the new city you’re living in, the new relationships you’re making, the new job. Swimming through each layer of honey is like conquering something important to you in your life. When we get too comfortable in what is familiar to us, it’s like we are sinking to the bottom of that layer of honey. The curse is when we become too comfortable and we fail to deepen other parts of our lives because we just want to stay where we are.
Familiarity is Leverage
Of course, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but many times I’ve noticed I won’t expand my comfort zone because I’m fearful of something. And if it’s a fear that if conquered, will improve the quality of my life, that’s usually a sign that I should embark into that unknown terrain.
Familiarity is leverage to expand our capacity for emotion. To feel more love, sadness, a sense of adventure, pressure, happiness, and even emotions that can’t be defined.
And I have begun to feel that leverage underneath my feet.
