In a world where popularity, money, power, and external perception dominate, we’re constantly sold an unrealistic version of happiness.
Even though we know those things don’t drive happiness, most of us still find ourselves daydreaming about a life built on aesthetics and glamour.
But the things that truly matter: inner peace, belonging, confidence, purpose, passion, creativity — don’t manifest in daydreams alone about who you could become.
True fulfillment manifests when you participate in the life you already have.
The mind is the main driver.
Resources, circumstances, and other people may ride in the passenger seat. But they’re not steering.
If you want to stop daydreaming and start living, it begins with how you think.
Micro Adventures
I’ve been lucky enough to be surrounded by people who just “make it happen.” It wasn’t until I started spending more time with my closest friends and my partner that I realized just how many excuses I would come up with to never go out and explore, and to stay in the phase of daydreams.
It wasn’t until my friend was booking campsites in Yosemite Valley or pressuring me to make decisions on buying plane tickets or just simply putting in the effort to make an average Saturday one of a thrilling adventure that I realized: “Wait a second, I can do this too.”
In my own experiences, I have seen myself as well as others come up with countless excuses to not live out the adventures we constantly talk about doing. I mean, the number of times my friends and I have talked about doing exciting things and then no one puts in any effort, and they just don’t happen, despite not being that hard, is kind of sad to me. I’m grateful that I have people in my life who have pushed me to make the adventure the norm rather than daydreaming the norm.
Of course, there are limitations to traveling or adventuring, but I also think part of the fun (for me at least) is working out the logistics so that we can make things work for our specific situations. I’m not saying this is what works for everyone, because money can be a genuine hindrance to doing the things we want to do. However, to make these adventures possible, we need to get creative with the resources we have, and that includes the ways we spend our money.
Another hindrance could be a lack of time. I used to avoid micro-adventures because I wanted to use my weekends to recharge, and I thought that staying home would give me the energy and motivation to live my life more fully. Maybe this works for some people, but it didn’t for me, and I know it doesn’t for some people reading this blog post, maybe even you!
It’s putting in the effort to make the most of weekends, going out of my way to see new places whenever I can, exercising, going on hikes, putting extra effort into hangouts with friends or family, that I realized what I put into something is what I get out of it. Acquiring motivation and fulfillment takes effort. Living an extraordinary life takes effort and time.
Pursue New Experiences Whenever You Can
Doing new things is really good for our brains and overall wellness. According to this article, the pursuit of new experiences allows you to think more and “wake up” your brain, and also improves your mood by releasing dopamine. It’s why we can all of a sudden come up with creative and “breakthrough solutions” to problems when we do things like travel.
Micro-adventures are one great way of doing this, but you don’t necessarily need to plan a whole weekend road trip to make it count. You can wake up for sunrise, do a cold plunge out in nature, shoot film or do some kind of photography challenge, spend a few hours disconnected from technology and give yourself a craft, put in a little extra effort into your outfit on a random day, host a themed dinner, go stargazing, change up your routine, pretend you are a tourist in your own city.
Do something that makes you see the world with new eyes, and many times, it changes the way you view your life.
Take Care of Your Mind
Perspective can shift a whole lot on how we view life. That’s why taking care of your mind is so important. I feel like a basis for any healthy mind is healthy habits, though I also believe the expectation for perfection can be poison to our well-being. The way I cope is by maintaining my healthy habits most of the time, but I allow myself to do things maybe seen as somewhat “unhealthy” if it means nurturing my soul.
And yes. Sometimes that means going out with friends or having a sweet treat or even just choosing not to beat myself up for when I make mistakes or do something that makes me feel bad. Taking care of my mind to me means doing the things that keep me feeling my overall best, not what’s perfect. Perfection only pulls me away from this intention to feel my overall best. I try to prioritize relationships and more disciplined dopamine sources, like reading, exercising, meditating, or spending quality time in nature, disconnecting from my phone. And of course I’m not perfect. But accepting my imperfections allows me to continue taking care of my mind. Life isn’t perfect, so take care of your mind in the way that genuinely makes you feel your best. Choose genuine love for yourself as often as possible, however that may look.
In Conclusion
In my opinion, to sum everything up, I think an extraordinary life begins with love. Accepting love for yourself, accepting inner-freedom for yourself, filling up your heart so much and feeling so deserving of all it to the point that you can’t help but share that love and inner-freedom with others.
It’s a good thing for everyone if you learn to do this. I constantly go through waves where I feel constrained and heavy and anxious, and then ones where I feel love and peace bursting from the seams. It’s ok to experience a sea of emotions, but to live an extraordinary life, we need to learn to make our roots a place of radical self-love and acceptance.
