“You aren’t doing enough,” is a phrase that commonly rings throughout my mind.
It’s the feeling that I’m not being productive enough, or social enough, or creative enough. The very egotistical way I mindlessly combat this dreaded pit in my stomach is by trying to do more. I’ll keep busy doing work without taking a break until bedtime, make social plans out of guilt, and end up canceling last-minute or desperately scrolling through social media feeds for a glint of forced inspiration.
It’s normal for us to want more and to expect more from ourselves, but we need to know when we are pursuing action out of desperation versus inspiration. The thing that actually fills that void doesn’t lie in trying to prove ourselves in some fashion.
In fact, many times it means slowing down and allowing more space to manifest within our minds and the time we give to ourselves. Space that holds the potential for the moments that actually make us satisfied and give us that “greater than the grind” sense of wellbeing and purpose. You are enough, and you are doing enough. The solution is to become more mindful and to quit overthinking and criticizing ourselves so much. Here are a few ways I’ve been evoking that feeling of bliss, absent from trying to prove myself to be worthy by doing more and more and more.
You’re Probably Doing More Than You Think
It is so easy to complete something and immediately move on to the next thing. However, when we never give ourselves the time to appreciate what we have accomplished or experienced, we never recognize that we are usually doing a lot more than we give ourselves credit for. We tend to focus our attention on small increments of time, such as a day or even a few hours, but we forget that the change to be noticed happens gradually. We need to zoom out to appreciate how far we’ve come. Here’s a practical method of doing so.
A Simple Practice For Tracking Your Growth
- Reflect over a period of time. I like two weeks to a month because it’s vast enough to display changes over time, but not so long that it becomes overwhelming to be specific.
- Make a timeline of everything memorable that happened during that period of time. It doesn’t need to be anything groundbreaking. It could be a walk around the neighborhood you enjoyed one evening, or seeing friends one night. Anything that feels notable to you.
- What are the experiences you want to remember? You can look through your camera roll, go through completed projects, books you’ve read, or a realization you had… This is your opportunity to define and appreciate your own use of time. Recognize your accomplishments, no matter how big or small they may be.
Don’t Wait to Live
After I did the exercise above, I experienced an elevated sense of compassion for myself. Just seeing the accomplishments that meant something to me written out allowed me to pause and realize that we are doing a lot. We always deserve moments to live life for ourselves because, in hindsight, those moments for ourselves have the potential to feel like inspired accomplishments. So, every once in a while, though ideally every day, put it away: the work, the expectations, the guilt. Put it all away and go do something for you. Go swimming in a body of water, go on a hike, read a book, dance around in an empty room. Do something that doesn’t serve any purpose greater than bringing you joy. It’s in moments like these that we really learn to love and feel joy. Happiness is a skill, and leaning into these moments of spontaneous wellness is how we practice developing happiness. Give yourself those moments to turn off your brain and tune into your body, your emotions, and the part within you just wants to have fun and enjoy life. In these moments, I tend to find the inspiration and space to keep me motivated and grateful. It’s these moments that define our time, and they also define our lives with more joy and love without the need to prove ourselves as something “more” than what our existence already is.
